vendredi 16 juillet 2010

Goodbye little one



This is not the post I'd wanted to write. On Tuesday, I prepared something with a strawberry tiramisu recipe but was exhausted from the heatwave in Berlin these past few days. Thank you so much for all your lovely comments; I promise to reply to them soon. Yesterday I arrived in the UK but one of the cats, Jemima was seriously ill with a tumour. She had an operation to remove a growth around 6 weeks ago and seemed to be doing so well but the cancer returned. I feel glad that she hung on until today so I could see her again. I had never seen anybody die before but she slipped away peacefully after the injection and still looked so beautiful when we buried her under the apple tree just now, scattering flowers and leaves over her head. The house seems terribly empty without her, already I keep expecting to see her rushing in through the catflap. We shared so much and I'm now trying to remember everything before those wonderful memories fade as everything does.

So I can say:

I still remember the woman at the animal shelter telling us that you were bad tempered at first because you had a thorn in your ear after somebody had abandoned you in a hedge but from the minute you arrived, it was a joy to have you with us.

I love the crazy way you used to shred newspapers and walk across the banisters like a tightrope artist. We used to say you were perpetual motion because you never stopped moving. I love your craze for water and also for smelly feet which made you bite our ankles until we took off our shoes.

I love the way you held your own as the only girl with the boys. The way we used to guess who would be in first at tea and breakfast time and it was always you.

I love those friendly little growls you gave when we had to put you out of the kitchen.

The way you always tried to climb into my Dad's cereal bowl and get his toast and marmelade.

The way that you came to me last night and stayed on my knee for hours as we watched the Squid and Whale together. Life won't be the same without you little one. I miss you so much, even if I feel you all around me still.

Apologies for typos dear readers but I can't face proofreading so forgive me. Tomorrow I'll leave for the Scottish borders, seeing the sea again with its infinite mass of blue. I'm glad of some time to reflect.


22 commentaires:

  1. it's true, the house seems so empty when they're gone, but we still have their memories, i am so sorry...

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  2. Vanessa, thank you for sharing your memories of Jemima. So sorry for your loss. Now, go get some sea therapy :)

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  3. So sorry about your loss, Darling... I know what good friends and companions they can be and definitely feel with you! Thanks for sharing your memories with us, they will surely always be an enrichment in your life. Treasure the special time you've spent together and try to look ahead. Comforting hug to you from Berlin!!

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  4. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Jemima was a beautiful cat. That is so sad that she had to die...

    Have a good time in the UK.

    Cheers,

    Rosa

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  5. Oh, it happens to the best of us, but it never feels good to say goodbye to a loved one. I'm sure sweet Jemima is in a nice comfy space filled with toast, marmalade, and big puddles of water (hopefully some smelly feet too).

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  6. I'm so sorry. It's hard to say goodbye to those faithful companions who, at times, are much nicer than even some of the people in our lives. We had to euthanise my old dog earlier this year and it still makes me incredibly sad. I watched movies with her all day and fed her treats, so I think she had a happy time. I had never watched someone or something die before either and it was awful to stroke her while she took her final breaths, but it was also very dignified and peaceful.

    Best wishes for safe travels ahead.

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  7. Vanessa, I am very sorry for the loss of your cat.
    Big hugs from me.
    Kirsten

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  8. Poor Vanessa, I'm so sorry, Jemima looks like such a sweet, pretty cat. I had a cat who was almost grown up when we got her from the SPCA and no one wanted her but she followed my dad around until he relented and took her as well as a kitten but she got cancer too. She died 4 years ago and now I can think happily of her, I hope that you can look forward to a time when you can feel the same about Jemima, take care x

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  9. Oh, you know she looks exactly like my own cat! Mine was called Grib, because the vet in Scotland couldn't pronounce the end of Gribouille... She was 17 years old, and, very strangely, she died a couple of months before I moved to Canada. Isn't it amazing how deep a relationship can sometimes be, with such a small thing? Take care... I'm looking forward to reading about your Scottish trip too.

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  10. Chère Vanessa,

    Je voulais te remercier pour ton dernier message et te dire que je ne t'oublies pas, même si mes apparitions se font plus rares depuis quelques temps. En venant flâner par chez toi, je ne m'attendais pas à une si triste nouvelle... La disparition d'un être cher est toujours une douloureuse épreuve et je partage pleinement ton chagrin. Je te souhaite malgré tout un bel été et j'espère que la quiétude de la mer te fera du bien. Grosses bises à toi. Julia*

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  11. Cette nouvelle me glace. C'est bien que tu aies pu partager un dernier moment soyeux avec elle. Tes photos d'elle sont très belles. J'espère que le voyage en Ecosse te fera du bien !

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  12. Oh! Sorry about your loss..Jemima was sure a very cute cat...

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  13. I'm so sorry, Vanessa. It's so sad to lose a pet. You have some memories of Jemimi that made me smile...

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  14. Vanessa je suis très triste pour la perte de votre chat peine que je comprends et partage pour en avoir perdu également un dernièrement d'un cancer
    Votre chat était très beau e til le restera à toujours dans votre coeur ..et dans votre esprit y restera gravés sus jeux espiègleries , ronrons et la lumière inoubliable de ses yeux
    Sacha

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  15. So sorry I got this post so late! Again, because the RSS doesn't work anymore on my Google reader page, I don't know why, although I tried to fix it several times.

    Dear Vanessa,
    I think of you very much and I find you face the loss of Jemima with grace and dignity. Bravo!
    Your memories with her are beautiful and it is very important. She is still on your mind and gave you wonderful moments. Your post shows how grateful you are for these fleeting moments, and I think you're right to see it like this.

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  16. sorry for your loss, pets bring such joy to our lives

    sweetlife

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  17. je ne sais quoi te dire alors je t'envoie juste une petite pensée positive du fond du coeur

    virginie

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  18. Very sad to lose a pet. Lost a dog this spring and felt that curious empty house feeling. How one so small could fill a place, I'll never know. May Scotland nourish you and heal you. My good wishes follow you.

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  19. I'm so sorry. I hope that you are having a good trip and it is lifting your spirits.

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  20. my heart ached reading this post. we have two fifteen year old cats that are like family. i've quite literally grown up with them and am dreading the day they're no longer around. sending happy thoughts your way :)

    xo Alison

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  21. Sorry for your loss. It's so hard when saying goodbye to a pet. Jemima was so cute and I'm sure you have many great memories of her.

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  22. Dear all, I really appreciate these kind words. I'd like to reply to you all individually but can't find anything more imaginative to say than thanks. It means such a lot to know that you understand what it's like to lose a dear friend.

    Merci a vous tous pour vos commentaires si gentils; je suis vraiment touchee par ces mots qui m'aident dans ce moment un peu difficile.

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